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February 1, 2004

Sometimes I Really Miss Lenore Levine

This would just about kill her, if she weren't, alas, dead already. I mean, how can you miss with articles like "Larger Mini Designed to Make Germans Think They're Shrinking" and "Are You a Giant Lizard? You'd Be Surprised!"?

"So, I'm A Giant Lizard": What To Do If your doctor discovers that you are, in fact, a giant shape-shifting lizard, there are several basic steps to follow.

1. Don't Panic. It is important in moments of stress to remain cool. Since you're cold-blooded, that shouldn't be a problem. Don't chew your claws: it's not only a bad habit, but you're probably treif

2. Eat Your Physician. Not only you'll feel much better after a noshikeh, guess who won’t be violating doctor-patient confidentiality.

3. Ask Yourself Some Hard Questions. Find out what species you are; if you are a kindly species, go home to your family, and consider a career in pest control; if evil, go home to your family, and use them to build a nest.

Posted by ayse on 02/01/04 at 7:19 PM